A wealth and lack of emotions

I don't know what's wrong with me.  I'm just not feeling much of anything anymore.  I practice my art but I don't make anything I'm happy with.  I try to write and all I get is blank staring at my computer.  I'm just kind of drained I think.  A lot of crap just goes down too quickly all at once in my life.

Although I am happy with the Dominatrix picture mattdrummy.deviantart.com/art/… .  I wouldn't have put it up here if I wasn't.  But I know it's not that great.  It lacks the emotion and dedication that the great artists of the world can put into their work.

Right now the only time I have to put emotion into is my work work.  The stuff I do to make money. And don't get me wrong, I enjoy my work immensely.  But I don't enjoy what it does to the rest of my life. I just feel drained, like I wasted all of my good feelings on a place that's just there to give me money.  Is that right? I guess it's normal, most people do put all their emotions into their job.  It's just the way the world works sometimes.

But I feel like I'm just distancing myself from all the people who make me happiest.  I feel like I'm just digging myself into a hole with a pad of paper and a pencil and I forgot to bring the light with me.  So I'm stuck with many ideas, but no way to express them in physical form.  This goes for pretty much everything in my life I guess.  Not just art.

I don't want to give the impression I'm depressed because I'm not, I am having a bad day today but it's not a bad life right now, just a trying one.  A new kind of life I've never been exposed to before and either I'm trying to fight it or I'm learning to accept what it's doing to me.  In either case, I can't help but wonder if I'm going to turn into something I like (or just something I can be happy with).  We'll have to see, until then I'll just keep trying to be me.  It's worked so far...